How to Help a Child Through a Deployment

Deployments are an inevitable part of military life, and they can put a strain on the whole family. Children often have a particularly difficult time dealing with deployments because they don’t often understand what’s going on or why their parent is suddenly gone from their lives for long periods. Despite the challenges of a deployment, it’s possible for children to make it through these difficult times. Keep reading to learn more about how deployment can affect children and what you can do to help them get through it.

How Deployment Can Impact Children

When a parent deploys, it can have a significant impact on their children. Regardless of age, children can have a hard time coping with a deployment and may have a hard time understanding what a deployment is or why one of their parents is away from home for long periods. They may even experience anxiety or stress if they understand the potential dangers of their parent being overseas, especially during a combat deployment.

Some of the ways that a deployment can impact a child include:

• Increased behavioral and emotional difficulties
• Aggression, withdrawal, or clinginess
• Higher levels of stress or anxiety
• Disrupted sleep or eating patterns
• Decline in academic performance
• Feelings of fear, sadness, or anger
• Acting out at home and school
• Trouble coping with the new family dynamic and responsibilities

While deployment is hard on everyone in the family, children often have a harder time due to a lack of understanding. Younger children may have trouble understanding why one of their parents is suddenly gone for long periods, and adolescents may act out as a way to cope with their emotions. Despite the challenges of deployment, it’s possible for children to manage their new feelings and the new dynamic at home so they can move forward with their lives until their parent returns home.

6 Methods to Help Children Cope With Deployment

As the parent or caregiver that’s staying home with the children while the other parent deploys, it’s important to take the necessary steps to help them cope with the changes that will occur during deployment. Consider the following tips to help your child thrive during their other parent’s deployment.

1. Communicate Openly

One of the most important things you can do is to communicate openly and honestly with your child about deployment and what to expect. Talk with them about the changes that are going to happen so they’re not surprised or blindsided when their parent comes home. Make sure to listen to your child when they talk about their feelings, and validate their emotions by letting them know it’s okay to feel whatever it is their feeling about the deployment.

Encourage your children to use journaling or other healthy outlets to express their emotions, whether it’s through art, sports, or other things that they enjoy. Having a healthy way to express their emotions can help them process what they’re going through and give them something to focus on rather than any negative feelings they’re experiencing.

2. Sustain Structure and Routines

It’s important for children to have a solid structure and routine, especially when they’re undergoing big changes at home, like a parent deploying overseas for months at a time. Establish a structure for your children that is simple and consistent, which will provide them with a sense of stability and security while they’re dealing with the difficulties of a parent being deployed.

You should also make an effort to spend time together as a family and engage in activities you know your child enjoys. Spending time together can help your child feel a sense of normalcy and gives them a chance to connect with you. It will be easier for your children to express their emotions about the deployment if they feel a connection with you.

3. Encourage Involvement With the Community

Getting involved with the community and making friends can help your children deal with their challenges while they wait for the deployment period to end. You can get them involved in clubs, sports, or a community activity they enjoy. Doing this will help your child feel more connected to others and provide them with a healthy outlet to handle their emotions.

If your child is struggling with the deployment, you can find support groups to help them connect with other children who are dealing with the same challenges. Support groups give your child the opportunity to connect with other military children who understand what your child is going through. They can make friends, vent about their problems, find genuine support, and more through these groups.

4. Stay Positive and Offer Reassurance

It’s important to stay positive around your child so they don’t experience more emotional distress. Help them see the positives of the changes they're experiencing, such as the chance to meet new people and engage in new and exciting activities.

You also want to offer them reassurance and support, as they’ll need it during this difficult time. Let your children know that you’re there for them in their time of need and that they can come to you with anything. Maintaining a positive attitude will help your children stay positive. Make sure to engage in activities with them so you’re involved in their lives, whether it’s attending sporting events, helping them with their schoolwork, or participating in their hobbies.

5. Take Time to Prepare Your Child for Deployment

Sometimes, deployment can happen suddenly, and you’ll have very little time to prepare. Some service members can even get orders to deploy within 24 hours. Before something like this happens, try to prepare your children for a potential deployment.

Sit down with your child and talk to them about what they can expect during a deployment and what it means for one of their parents to deploy. Setting expectations early and being honest with them about what happens can help them adjust to the idea before it happens and gives them time to mentally prepare. Once the deployment occurs, try to maintain contact with the deployed parent if and when possible so your children can feel more connected to them. You can even build a care package together to help your children feel like they’re able to support the parent who’s overseas.

6. Seek Professional Help When Needed

Dealing with a deployment is difficult for everyone, and your child may need professional help to deal with their emotions and other challenges that occur during this period. Signing up for family therapy can make a big difference in your child’s mental health and their ability to process difficult situations like a parent leaving for a deployment. You can even find counselors on base that specialize in helping children deal with deployment stress and the other challenges that come with the military lifestyle.

Find Support Through Your Deployment From MLC

Here at MLC, we understand that deployments can be tough. While we can’t solve all your problems, we can help reduce some of the stress by offering luggage solutions to make packing for your upcoming deployment seamless and stress-free. We offer a wide selection of deployment bags, whether you need a wheeled loadout bag, assault pack, rucksack, or something else. We even offer gear for kids to help them feel more connected to their parent who are in the military. Check out our full selection here, or contact us today with your questions.